So how about that presidential debate?! Did that add to your peace of mind about the upcoming election? Did you think, “Well, no matter who wins, we’ll still have a functioning government and maybe there will be better choices in four years?” Did you get excited about casting your vote for your favorite candidate? 
Or are you among the 87-percent of Americans who say our presidential campaign does not make them proud of our country? Are you tired of the exaggerated, inflammatory, polarizing language that is characteristic of America’s political campaigns? Do you wish the candidates would spend less time, energy, and money blaming one another for the challenges America faces and more time talking about how they will collaborate with the other side to find solutions?
Or perhaps you firmly believe “your” side has the solutions and nothing about “their” side is worth considering. Whether you are conservative or liberal in your political outlook, do you view your side as absolutely right and the others as absolutely wrong? Are you certain that if the other side wins, America will be in big trouble and may cease to function as the democracy that has seen us through wars, economic hardship, and political corruption in the past? 
Are you more fearful than hopeful? Have you found calm only by withdrawing from political conversation, social media posts, and even some family and friends? 
As you consider these questions and your own position regarding today’s political climate, think for a moment how it would feel to have a respectful conversation that led to someone with whom you disagree understanding your hopes and fears. They really listen to what you’re saying, your story, your history, what led you to the beliefs you hold. They ask questions, not to challenge you, but to better understand your thoughts and feelings. 
You feel safe with them and curious about why the two of you are on different sides, so you ask them to share their hopes and fears. Instead of challenging their beliefs, you ask about their upbringing, education, and what news outlets they use, seeking to figure out how they came to their opinions. As the conversation winds down, you both realize that, in spite of having very different ideas, you both care deeply about the injustices you see around you, the values your kids are developing, and the area’s emergency services economic troubles.
On these topics, and perhaps a few others you’ll consider later, you have areas of agreement that could create workable solutions. You decide to have further discussions after consulting with other citizens involved in these areas. You go to the next ambulance meeting. They ask a school board member about the policy on parental rights regarding curriculum. You both volunteer for a shift at the food shelf to see if you can learn more about the cause of economic inequities. 
All right – that sounds a little pie-in-the-sky for one conversation, no matter how civil. But increase it to several conversations over a couple months and it’s more realistic. Expand that to more people having dozens of conversations over a year, with the people becoming more comfortable with hot topics, better at listening to opposing views, and more engaged in civic matters, and you have a base for some positive changes in the community– a reduction of rancor and polarization and an upward spiral of citizen engagement and civic renewal.
In Ely, this is the goal of the Ely Braver Angels Alliance. In spite of hearing people on both sides say things like “I can’t even be in the same room with those people,” Braver Angels is encouraging Ely citizens to talk respectfully to each other about controversial topics on which they disagree, to listen with the simple goal of understanding, and to let go of any desire to change the other person’s mind. That’s not easy. Americans are out of practice. Even casual conversation has given way to sound bites on social media; and opinions on hot topics are expressed by clever memes that can be read in three seconds or less.
Conversations with substance that touch on strongly-held convictions between people with different perspectives too often end in slammed doors, damaged relationships, and a vow never to talk about such things again. Braver Angels is helping people learn to engage without the rancor. Through practical workshops, creating a safe place to share opinions and practice listening, and facilitated discussions, people who have attended the Ely Braver Angels gatherings have learned skills to delve into such issues as abortion, the media, and voting methods. It may sound serious, but there is a lot of laughter and camaraderie, as well as homemade cookies. 
The next Ely Braver Angels event is a Happy Hour (actually two hours) at SamZ Place (1225 Winton Rd, Ely) on July 24, 5-7 p.m. to simply socialize with some of “those people” who are on “the other side.” Admission, food, and beer is free. There will be a fish fry, door prizes, corn hole and other lawn games. The goal is to meet one another, have a good time, and not take ourselves too seriously. 
If you want to learn more about Braver Angels, visit the national organization’s website at BraverAngels.org. You’ll find helpful hints for interacting with family and friends, ways to become aware of your own polarization, and podcasts, film discussions, and much more to help you bring hope back to your political positions.