“Watch out window, watch out coffee. I shot you, fan! Pew, pew, pew, pew. Oh, I crashed. I died.” No, this isn’t a spy movie. This excitement is happening in my living room and my two-year-old, Edwin, is in the thicket of some wild shoot out. He’s brandishing a RC car controller as his weapon. I never thought I’d be the parent of a gun-slinging toddler. I didn’t know what to expect when I learned I would be the mother of a boy. “What am I going to do with a boy?!” I asked my husband. Well, I guess here’s my answer. I just have to watch him shoot things and bounce off the furniture.
Don’t ask me where he learned all this, I certainly didn’t teach him. We don’t even own guns! I think it started about six months ago when he would point his finger at people and zap them. I thought he was casting spells Sabrina-Spellman style and that was pretty cute, but I think I misinterpreted. This is all probably a result of his dad watching James Bond and whatever else weirdo Mystery Science Theatre movies while Ed’s around.
Not only does Ed rival John Wick’s assassin skills, Ed is a hard worker, too. His favorite activity in the world is shoveling. “Shovel, shovel, shovel,” though when he says it, it sounds more like “shabul.” He only just recently learned how to shovel the right way, that is, taking the snow from the paths and putting it into the snowbanks. Before, he would just kind of throw any snow around. He’s getting really good at it now though. He even shoveled the whole path from our back door to the woodshed. I don’t think he even understands that snow is for playing in. I’ve tried to build him a snowman, I’ve tried to throw snowballs, I’ll pull him around on a sled, but more than anything he just loves his shovel. I guess I’ll be thankful and hope his work ethic sticks.
When I was pregnant, a woman asked me whether I was having a boy or girl, when I responded it was a boy she said, “Oh, you’ll make a great boy mom!” For a long time, I didn’t understand what she meant and I thought it was a funny thing to say. But now that I get to watch my son, who is the epitome of a boy, I see what she means. It’s go-go-go, it’s a lot of helping, a lot of trucks, a lot of dinosaurs, a lot of climbing, running, learning, reading, and playing. It’s frogs and snails and puppy dog tails, because that’s what little boys are made of.
Four months ago I also became the mother of a little girl who my husband and I named Dot. We have yet to see what her personality will be (aside from laid-back, squeaky, and smiley) but whatever she brings to the table, I feel like Ed’s high energy routines have built my parenting endurance and have helped me be prepared for whatever comes next. I hope it’s girly things like hair braiding, tea parties, and clapping games but honestly I’m looking forward to the Nerf wars and squirt guns, too.