Penelope on the porch

Hello, humans. My name is Penelope, but everyone calls me Penny. I have the unofficial job as the Timberjay greeter. I am very soft, cute, and friendly 5 year-old dog. The job doesn’t pay too well, but I make a fortune in tips, a.k.a. being petted. Remember that. I have puppies to feed.

(Okay, not really. I've been trained not to.)

If I’m not greeting you, that means I am either watching another employee eat (and asking for food), or sleeping in the back room. Did I mention that I’m queen of the world? Bear that in mind, mortals.

If you’re wondering what kind of dog I am, I’m a mix of several breeds. My main “ingredient” is Rhodesian Ridgeback, an African dog bred to hunt big cats. I’ve never seen a lion (not even a cougar), but I always remember to bark at the kid in the lion costume on Halloween. I think I’ve also got some boxer, Rottweiler, and maybe some pitbull in me. In short, I’m the dog version of a combination of Daniel Craig, Chuck Norris, and Vin Diesel. So don’t mess with me.

Oh yeah, and if any other photo galleries pass me in views...

(ghostwritten by Max H.)