The true scoop about the illustrious Ms. Vera Milion

TOWER-SOUDAN- At his funeral last Saturday, many old friends talked about Al Reller and his love of the theater. Longtime friend Jim Lah, who helped write Al’s obituary, noted that Al’s life was always “stage front and center,” and that he was a “big man from a small town.” But no one mentioned Al’s secret writing career.
What I thought was one of the worst-kept secrets in Tower-Soudan, the identity of the writer of the ever-popular Ms. Vera Milion column that ran in the Timberjay from 2006 until 2020, apparently was still a secret to many.
So, with the recent passing of Al, a retired teacher at Hibbing High School who moved to Soudan with his wife MaryBeth to help care for her mother Edith Williams, it’s time to let that cat out of the bag (with permission from MaryBeth, of course.)
I’m not sure if Al liked cats. But he was fond enough of the Timberjay’s office dog. I think he was mostly fond of moose, which was a nickname given to one of his column’s characters. Al would stop by the Timberjay office to drop off his column. He could have emailed them, but more times than not he was not getting along with either his computer or the internet. Sometimes he would come and sit and type them out on one of our computers, and sometimes he would read them to me over the phone as I typed them out.
He certainly loved the freedom of writing under a nom de plume, French for a pen name. The columns were always silly, occasionally serious, never mean-spirited, and often left readers scratching their heads trying to figure out who she was really writing about!
Ms. Vera Milion was a lot like Al. She was flamboyant, she loved a party, and she wasn’t afraid to speak her mind, especially on politics. She loved to name-drop local businesses, write about what she was watching on television and gardening and cooking, and of course, lots of little bits from about the Tower-Soudan and Lake Vermilion community. She invented a whole community out on Birch Point, where Al and MaryBeth never lived but often visited friends, and a whole cast of ne’er-do-well relatives (who I assume were made up, but who knows?). Vera wasn’t afraid to shy away from politics, and she didn’t have much nice to say about conservative Republicans.
Looking back over an assortment of Vera’s musings, it’s like travelling into a time capsule. Unfortunately, most are not searchable on our website, so I was browsing through our old bound newspaper editions, which we store in the back room at the office.

Some excerpts...
About death
I always get nervous when someone nice passes away. With this person gone it just puts the load on the rest of us, and I just don’t see many people in line waiting to fill those openings left by ‘nice’ people. In fact, I see some really, crabby people down the line.

About the holidays
Our host, Harlan, pops out of the kitchen. He is wearing a chef’s hat and an apron that says, “Always Kiss the Cook!”
He has worn the same apron for years and no one has ever puckered up…he persists!
“Ladies and gentlemen…do I have a treat for you…Pan-Seared Bacon-Wrapped Venison Medallions, Guacamole Burgers with Jalapeno Aioli, and the good old Open-Fire Venison Cowboy Chili.”
Usually at this time, either Hilda or I fake Shigellosis, appendicitis, or Rift Valley Fever, and off we go.
Once an ambulance was called, and we were strapped onto stretchers and given a saline solution.
It took some fast talking, but they let us off by our car. The attendant said, “I hate this season…Christmas parties and all those relatives!

About school concerts
Who knew that in one afternoon in downtown Tower we could hear a little Mozart, not to mention Missorsky, Beethoven, and some Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, along with a Latin Gloria and a German Christmas carol? No, Randy [Semo from Good Ol’ Days] had not gone over the edge and tuned into Minnesota Public Radio!
We attended the, dare I say, Christmas concert presented by the Tower-Soudan Elementary School.
It was wonderful.
It should be mandatory for us old people to attend an elementary school music program at least once a year.
To see such earnestness, such focus (all right the kindergarteners did refuse to sing until they saw their parents in the audience), but those kids were loaded for bear and Broadway.
The show opened with the fifth-grade band- they did the Mozart. The sixth-grade band played Mussorgsky and the combined bands played Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony…not the whole thing…just the best parts.

About the cold
Well it happened…winter.
I always hope that this year it will just pass us by. We who have dealt with the cold, the snow, the frozen long johns on the clothesline for years, decades, have suffered enough. We want to move north of Tampa, Fla. We want to hear the surf crashing on the shore, we want to wiggle our toes in the sand, catch marlin, bet on dog races, and be far away from the wind chill factor, whiteouts, severe weather warnings, and (even though I don’t know exactly what it is, I know I suffer from it) seasonal affective disorder.
I suppose we could move to Florida, get a trailer, and worry about hurricanes, however, Hilda’s biggest fear of relocation is that Florida has basically been a RED state since 1952.
“Who would I talk to?”
My biggest fear would be, where would I get the money to pay the fines she would incur from getting into fist fights with members of the GOP? Being rammed by some senior citizen in a wheelchair can cause permanent damage.

About cooking
Vera writes…One of my favorite cookbooks is “Tower’s Kitchen Secrets,” compiled by the Tower Women’s Civic Improvement Club. There isn’t a date of publication, but I do recognize names.
Keeping with Christmas, June Macomber’s Santa Cinnamon Salad would be a success. I like it because it doesn’t contain ANY vegetables!
June Macomber’s Santa Cinnamon Salad
1/4 cup red cinnamon candies
2 tablespoons sugar
1 cup hot water
1 package cherry gelatin
1 cup cold water
1 cup diced apple
1/2 cup diced orange
1/4 cup chopped nuts
Dissolve the candies and sugar in the hot water...heat to boiling and pour over gelatin, stir to dissolve. Add the cold water and food coloring.
Chill until partially set, then stir in the remaining ingredients and chill until firm. I FEEL this recipe just CALLS for giant dollops of whipped cream.

And as Vera would always sign off…Ta, ta dears
And may we all care as much for our community as Ms. Vera Milion.